argghhhh

I hate all forms of exercise. I’ve been lying to myself in an attempt to recondition myself into believing otherwise. I am also very angry that I have been created in such a way that exercise is the ONLY way I can hope to look hot in my cute new jeans....which of course is not the case today....or yesterday for that matter.

Why can’t we just FEEL cute and have it be? Why can’t we just WANT thinness and have it be? I mean, is that not what the f-ing Secret is all about?? See it, feel it,VISUALIZE it and it will be! Well I’ve spent numerous hours visualizing I am all that and 1 chip–in my minds eye (clearly a one dimensional view) I look HOT... all I want is for the camera to support my visual hypothesis.

Yes, this rant is in response to the recent photo I unfortunately saw of me next to 90lb Denise at the reunion.

Note to self: Only have photo taken w/ obese strangers to preserve fantastical sense of self.