Abject Toadies in the workplace

As is undoubtedly obvious from the title, I work with a couple of real winners. Nicknames include Nasty Ass and Camel Toe...with good reason. These two are among the most inept of our species and it never ceases to amaze me that they are employed at all, much less employed in a law office.

A little background...NA (Nasty Ass) has "worked" here for 15 years. Knows nothing about any of the types of law we practice and refuses to learn any of the computer programs which have emerged over the past 5 years. Pretty picture. CT (Camel Toe) has "worked" here for 10 years and fashions herself an administrative assistant, although she is not capable of stringing together 2 sentences...wait, I take that back, one sentence. She also has no desire or capacity to learn how to use the computer. It is 2008. How can this be? These people are paid really well and yet they actually complain about their jobs (which I have yet to identify)...it is a stunning set up and one I would be anxious to leave behind, however, I actually do like (like and respect are two different things) my boss and have a vast appreciation for the flexibility I'm afforded. So, what's the bitch?? The bitch is that it is increasingly difficult to maintain that elusive day to day grinding work ethic (so necessary to keep one going) in the face of such blatant disregard for the job, the product we are supposed to stand behind, not to mention our firm's reputation.

Now, out of my own frustration, I have stooped to being the pot-stirer...like today when they electively took off for the mid-day 2 hour shopping trip (on the clock) while the "boss" is away, I decided to greet them with a little white lie--""boss" called and was wondering where you two ladies were..." see, they thought him in a long dental appt...I let the explosion of defensive, guilty, strangely angry banter ensue for at least 5 minutes before saying..."just kiddin"...hehe...this pleases me as I just can't stand either one of these crotchety old bitches...

Why do we do this?

As I was lying nauseated and sweating on my yoga mat last night I kept asking myself why am i here? Why do I PAY to torture myself and be miserable? For free, I could be happily lounging upon my couch enjoying my evening readying myself for American Idol. But then again, that is never really the case once we have the knowledge that we should be active, we should release stress in the form of a heinously hot yoga room in order to thwart disease, the days of blissful, ignorant lounging come to an end. I've decided knowing too much is detrimental to one's ability to have real fun; to have down and dirty laziness accompanied by mass amounts of comfort food. The truth is if I could suffer and immediately walk out of the room looking like Heidi Klum's body double, I'd be happy to torture myself in the name of pure beauty. Instead the payoff looks something more like maybe I'll live to 80....without a humpback....without an extra 50 pounds....without pain. And there is the fact that I just lost my father to cancer. And the fact that my mother is scheduled for surgery tomorrow to remove a potentially malignant tumor. And the fact is...this runs in my family and I better do what I can now to avoid this outcome...so I will continue to suffer in the short run...hopefully purging my body of all things toxic...because I know it works and I know the alternative is not an option.

The committment

Funny how it is soo easy to commit to the afternoon hell bikram class at 8 am in the morning. Now it's time to go and all i want to do is go directly to the couch for the marathon tivo session catching me up on all things mindless and entertaining. hmm...skinnier ass, happier ass...what will it be!

so I started this thing

This first little paragragh should be quite interesting as i'm simply trying to post in an attempt to confirm that I can actually navigate my way around this new and exciting form of communication...I feel so 90's...